Big Questions. Bible Answers.

Any strife? Get it out now, in the Name of Jesus. When you entertain strife at all in your marriage or family circle, you are being set up for an accident that you do not want to occur!

Strife can be defined as deep-seated, bitter conflict, angry argument, or division between people that is driven by pride and selfishness. Strife opens the door to every evil work, and that's a door we want to keep shut.

Spend a moment with the Lord. Ask Him to show you the root cause so you can deal with it. Repent. Receive forgiveness. Ask for God's help to walk in the Spirit, to walk in the love of God, and not to give place to contention in your relationships.

When talking with each other, use soft words instead of giving yourself to anger, wrath, or sharp digs. It's important to note that there is healthy confrontation and dialogue that bring resolution and help us, in our families, to live right. Strife, however, is not a part of that!

Related Scriptures: James 3:16–18; Ephesians 4:26–27; Colossians 3:12–15; Proverbs 17:14

Don’t allow offense to take root in you. Keep your heart full of gratitude, because a grateful heart leaves little room for offense to settle in.

Offense will shut your faith down quicker than almost anything. Mark 11 tells us that, by faith, mountains move, but they’re not going to move if we’re harboring things against people. If you can’t forgive the one you’re working with, forgive the one you live with, or forgive the one who’s ticked you off, then your prayers are hindered.

A seasoned minister once shared, “Offense is the bait of Satan.” When you allow yourself to become offended and stay offended, you are taking the bait. Remember, you have a choice! You also have the Spirit of God to help you navigate life, say no to offense, and release every trace of it.

Today, don’t give offense another moment of your attention. Bring the situation before the Lord. Ask Him to show you anything you need to release, forgive quickly, and make the decision that offense will not have a place in your heart. Let it go, leave it with God, and move forward free!

Related Scriptures: Mark 11:22–25; Ephesians 4:31–32; Hebrews 12:14–15; Colossians 3:13

By faith.

You may say,
“But you don’t know what they did to me.”

I know what Jesus did for you! He bore all your hurt and pain. Jesus became the way for you to live in forgiveness. In His strength and in His love, you must release all unforgiveness.

Don’t carry stuff in your heart.
Be free.

Think of it like this: forgiveness is about obeying God, not necessarily wholly about the other person. This allows God to completely heal us and work supernaturally in our lives. On this basis, by faith, forgive them and release yourself from the torment of unforgiveness.

Ask the Father to help you, then say it aloud: “I forgive __________ by faith, in Jesus’ Name.”

Then spend a moment giving thanks. Here is an example to help you: “Thank You, Father, for forgiving me and for cleansing me from all unrighteousness. I remember how Jesus suffered and died for me. I receive your help to forgive and keep on forgiving anytime it comes up in my mind and emotions again. I thank your for my complete healing and freedom and I commit this person and this situation into Your hands, in Jesus’ Name. Amen, so be it.”

Related Scriptures: James 5:16–18; Acts 4:31; John 15:7

No. Not Always.

We forgive because it is part of God’s Kingdom ways. We are commanded to walk in love and forgiveness for our total well-being. Holding on to unforgiveness does us more harm. It can turn into bitterness, eventually making us resentful and cynical.

If someone has abused you, you do not have to allow them back into your life. We have biblical wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to govern our lives by God’s standard, and that does not involve putting up with any type of abuse or manipulation. You are never under any obligation to stay in an abusive or dangerous relationship.

Allow the Lord to lead you in each situation. Maybe it was a friend who said or did something wrong. We can forgive and continue on with the friendship. Every situation is different. If you aren’t sure what to do, it is good to seek wise counsel on the matter.

(From the Q&A prior, but we know this truth really empowers each of us in this area, so we wanted to add it here for you as well: Think of it like this: forgiveness is about obeying God, not necessarily wholly about the other person. This allows God to completely heal us and work supernaturally in our lives. On this basis, by faith, forgive them and release yourself from the torment of unforgiveness.)

Related Scripture: Colossians 3:13; Proverbs 22:3; Matthew 10:16; Proverbs 13:20

Yes! And the Lord will work in you as you pray.

We've learned that, “It is impossible to pray for an individual and not end up loving them.” Prayer changes the one who prays and helps you see people the way God sees them.

So pray.

Don’t simply rehearse what they did.

Don’t keep feeding the offense.

Pray for them.

Related Scriptures: Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27–28; Mark 11:25; 1 Timothy 2:1

Pray in the Spirit.

You don’t have to know every detail.

You don’t have to know how to "fix" them or the situation.

The Spirit helps us pray when we don’t know what to pray.

Take that person before the Lord and pray.

Related Scriptures: Romans 8:26–27; 1 Corinthians 14:2; Ephesians 6:18; Jude 20

Tend your heart. If you’ve ever traveled with an airline, you’ll have heard the part of the safety demonstration that states that adults with children must put their own oxygen masks on first. Why? Because you can’t help someone if you don’t look after yourself.

In life, there will be people who don’t make the correct choices, and no matter how much you want to help, you are not responsible for another person’s choices. Even if it’s as simple as an eating habit of a loved one. We’re not only referring to seemingly hardcore issues in this reply; we understand that this could be about daily habits that are not conducive to a person’s growth or the betterment of a relationship.

The answer is the same: you tend your heart. Make sure there’s nothing growing in there that you need to get uprooted. Get it out of there. Follow God’s leading for you, and trust them into His care.

Everything grows from a seed.

Words you speak.

Words you believe.

What you focus on.

What you repeat.

What you feed on spiritually.

So don’t allow what somebody else is doing to determine what is growing in your heart.

Related Scriptures: Proverbs 4:23; Galatians 6:7–9; Hebrews 12:15; Luke 6:45